Chinese couple living in Lagos gave birth to a black baby.
In anger, husband asked the wife.... Chu, why baby black?
She replied, we live in Nigeria, no electricity.....me hot, u hot, sex hot.....baby burnt!

i am a killer,i kill pple 4 money,but u are my frnd i will kill u 4 free

A Fulani man took his radio for repairs. When the radio was opened, a rat jumped out and ran away. The Fulani man shouted "ku taimaka, mai bada labaru zai gudu" (Help! Help!! The Newscaster is escaping).

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."
The librarian replies, "This is a library."
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers,
"I'm here to see the doctor."

Mike: Ekaette, why you dey cry?
Ekaette: Rif me, you no hear say Weakly Hounston don die.
Mike: Chei!!!!!! No be that woman way sing, "one love keep us together"?
Ekaette: U be mumu, no be am, na she sing "we are the world"

Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.

My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!
Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

Old people used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks and saying “you are next”.

They quit years later when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Husband comes home from church,greet his wife, lifts her up and carries her.
The wife is so surprised and asks smiling"did d pastor preach about being romantic?
The husband replies ''No, he said we must carry our burdens