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First time sex ecstasy.
Virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come over and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to -
Did Santa get you that?
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?”
“Yes,” replies the little girl.
“Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and -
Illegal turn
A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
“Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.
“It’s okay, Dad,” the boy said, “The police car right behind us did the same thing.” -
Dear Dad
A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-
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The unfaithful husband
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches, & went to the -
The House of Lies
A man bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.
He decided to test it at dinner: …
DAD : Son where were you today during school hours?
SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind)
Okay I went to the movies!
DAD : Which one?
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Pay your bills.
Okon was an official in King Kong's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Emeka, who was the King's chief physician.
Emeka said, "I can arrange it, but I will need -
Early Christmas Shopping
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” said the -
20 lashes of the whip
A Yoruba Man was sitting with an Ibo man and a Hausa man in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the police entered and arrested them. They were initially given a death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the sheikh decided they should be released after each receiving 20 lashes of the whip. As they were -
Kids vs. Teachers
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That’s impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.
TEACHER: Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
JOHNNY: Here it is!
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