HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love.
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes.
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye.

Another day

HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love

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A couple had never fought in 25 years ..
A friend asked the husband - "
How do you manage? "

Husband replied - It all started when we went on a honeymoon to south africa for horse-riding... ­ During the horse ride ,the horse my wife was riding jumped and she fell,she got up ,patted it and said "This is your 1st time

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A passenger touched the taxi driver on the shoulder to ask him to stop.
The driver screamed, lost control, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath & smashed against a wall.
Then the driver said: Don't you ever do that again, you scared me!
The passenger asked: How did a little touch scare u so much?
Driver replied,

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An employee goes to his boss to discuss his appraisal. Boss starts asking questions:
Boss - There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Employee - That's easy. There are 49 left.
Boss - How would you put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee - Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Then

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A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for medical checkup.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''
And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I

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Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty

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WEALTH is when you buy a 1st class return ticket to the UK just to pick up a dress..(Money speaking)

TROUBLE is slapping a soldier in front of quarter guard in a barracks.. (Other people will tell the story on ur behalf)

FAITH is using the last money on you to buy a wallet.. (Miracle worker)

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When I got married, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was

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Dear Sir,

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse

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Nigerian Police officers no dey look before they enter a car o.
I was driving down the street when a police stoped my car and imediately opened d door entered and jam it.
... As usual he wanted to colect his normal "roja"money frm me..
Then sudenly he saw a big grown dog at d bak of d seat wit tongue stuck out angrily lukin at

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